I don’t like to say “I’m too busy for that”. If I can’t find the time to do something, I try to say “that’s not a priority at this moment”.
What are you busy WITH if it’s not the highest prioritized items in your life? Isn’t life about finding time for what’s most important anyway?
Having said that, this week has been one of those weeks where finding time on my calendar has been tough. But you find time for things that are most important anyway.
If not, accept it for what it is and free yourself of the guilt of not having got to it. Just admit that it’s just not a priority in your life at the moment. If not, you’d have done it. And the thing is, there is nothing wrong with that as long as you’re happy.
Lean on me; and I will support you ’til I snap ’til we both fall to the ground; and rot
Or maybe I’m doing it wrong Maybe I need to get stronger first Strong enough to hold you up
’til I realize I needed to get strong enough for myself ’til I realize you were just dead weight And you were just taking me down with you
Even though your initial reasons for wanting to work on yourself might have been flawed; one day you will realize, once you’ve grown past your initial reasons; one day you will realize that you are thankful for those reasons; because it helped you grow beyond yourself.
It’s not that I don’t have an interface. It’s just that it’s hard for me to sit at a desk and record, especially after a long day at work, where I’m sitting at a desk the whole day.
When I get off work, I like to physically separate myself from the location where I spend most of my day. I believe this is especially important in the remote work life world where the walk from your office to your home is literally five steps.
Don’t get me wrong. I truly love my job, and wouldn’t have it any other way, but I also believe it’s important to unplug. If not, you risk burning out. I’ve been close to getting there in the past, especially during certain phases in my career where working crazy hours was glorified.
You are only worth half your true worth, if you’re not happy and fully mentally present. The only way you can do that is by giving yourself space to unwind and take care of yourself, whatever your outlet might me. This way when you come back to work, you are fully present and giving it your all.
As for me, I unwind by texting my friends while singing and strumming on the guitar, while playing netflix/prime in the background, while making instagram stories of all of this multi tasking – 5 steps away from my home office.
This is one of the reasons most of my recordings are raw and unedited and made with a cellphone. There really is not much thought behind my videos, or at least most of them. This is also a bit of how I live my life. If an exciting thought comes to me, I will act on it. If I’m strumming something that sounds ok to me, I prop up my cellphone and hit record and then upload.
Today I unpacked a bunch of my recording gear, and set up a separate corner of my living room where it will be easier for me to record audio, without having to sit at my puter desk. Somehow this corner doesn’t feel very office-y, even though there is a computer involved.
I also realize I haven’t had a recording corner in 3 years almost to the day. How time has flown by. I am excited to see if anything will come of this.
It wasn’t at least 3 or 4 years until after I started running that I felt comfortable calling myself a runner. “I’m not running, I’m just jogging”. “I’m too fat to be a runner”. So many insecurities kept me from embracing the identity of a runner. I was also afraid that if I called myself a runner, people might judge me “oh look at her – she calls herself a runner and she’s still doesn’t look fit”.
It wasn’t until I read a blog post that said “if you think you’re running, and you do it consistently, you’re a runner, dammit” that I decided to embrace the identity of a runner. This statement had a profound impact on me in my early 20s. I’m a runner, dammit.
I recently started reading James Clear’s “Atomic Habits”. A point it drives across is embracing your identity based on your goals. If your goal is to become someone who reads books, as a first step, start reading. But more importantly, start calling yourself a book reader. You will find yourself naturally embracing the identity of a book reader, and reading more books. On the contrary, if you keep referring to yourself as someone who would love to be a book reader, you’ll always find yourself trying to be someone else, which in turn makes your goal harder to attain.
It’s amazing how the idea of calling myself a runner and embracing that identity has translated into so many avenues in my life. As a woman in tech, who has been in the industry for 12 years, I will tell you this – you will always run into folks that might have some pre-conceived notions of what it means to be a woman in tech and how you got there. I was involved in some “water cooler talk” with a senior male Engineer (and a good friend!) recently, during which he said “you just have to be a female straight out of bootcamp and you don’t even have to be good – startups are just waiting to hire you”. I instantly felt defensive and felt the need to defend women in tech. I know he didn’t mean any malice intentionally, and that makes it all the more difficult a problem to solve!
When you run into conversations like these (which I would call a microaggression), it’s not a surprise that women might feel inferior and questioning themselves for their accomplishments. With each promotion/raise there is that nagging question “am I really here because I’m good, or… am I here because they needed a diversity hire”.
Let me tell you, ladies – you’re there because you damn well deserve it. Please embrace your identity and start calling yourself an Engineer (or Product Manager or UX designer or whatever you’re a rockstar at). If a company is paying you good money for your git commits and your expertise, you’re an Engineer, dammit.
Once I started calling myself an Engineer, once again, that translated into so many avenues in my life. I mounted a set of curtain rods using a drill – the mantra that kept me through the whole process was “Bavitha, you’re an Engineer, dammit. You can do this”. I mounted a 65 inch TV all by myself. Again, I told myself “Bavitha, you’re an Engineer. You can do this, dammit”.
Start embracing the identity of the person you want to be and you’ll see how it affects all aspects of your life.
I am an Engineer, a Musician, a Writer, a Runner, an Atheist, and a People Lover. What is your identity?
all the little stories that went unwritten until now